Why Seeking Safety and Comfort is Actually Harming You.

Julia X Warner
5 min readNov 14, 2021

Growth happens outside our realm of comfort. Outside what we normally do and outside what is usual for us. This is why habit formation can be so challenging sometimes, because we literally need to form new neural pathways in order to make a lasting change.

This isn’t easy, because as we are forming the new neural pathways, the old ones are still intact, pulling you into your realm of comfort, until the new path becomes more intrenched.

This is why it can be so challenging to change our perspective. We cling to the old and familiar because it helps us to feel safe. However feeling safe and comfortable, isn’t always that good for us.

When we stay in our safety zone we don’t allow true growth or change. As humans, the need to grow develop and expand is one of our vital needs. It helps us feel like we are progressing, which is vital to our evolution. We literally wouldn’t exist as humans if it wasn’t for this need.

So how can we actually achieve this shift, and grow for the better, rather than seeking safety?

1. Look for outside perspectives.

Whether you are trying to change your diet, build a more positive mindset, or create an exercise routine, it is important to look for information that is outside your comfort zone.

When I was first trying to clean up my diet, I didn’t create limitation on what I shouldn’t eat. I instead, filled my brain with a new path. I learned about healthy foods, and the benefits of them. I looked up new recipes, so that I had something to fall back on when a sugar craving struck.

This was uncomfortable. Because I had to try new recipes, put in effort and learn something new. But it was worth it in the end, as my body started to feel more revitalized, and the junk food cravings started to go away, because I was finally getting the nutrients my body was actually craving.

2. Question what you’re being told, and listen to your body and what’s right for you.

Most of what we’re sold as “heath food products” actually aren’t that healthy. The regulations for what is allowed on packaging is pretty broad, and something labeled as natural, or even organic, can still have a lot of sugar in it.

Just because someone tells you something is good for you, doesn’t mean it’s true. Maybe it was true for them, their body and their needs, but not what is best for yourself.

As you learn to strengthen your intuition and create your own embodiment practices, you will get a feel for what your body needs. There is a distinction between the discomfort of going outside of your comfort zone and the discomfort of being out of alignment.

While both are uncomfortable, one will lead you feeling much better in the long run. Learn the difference.

Meditation is a great way to become more connected to your body to discern what you’re being fed.

3. Become connected to your emotions. Another note on embodiment.

There is great value in building the ability to sit with our emotions. They are our compass in life, and help direct us towards what is right and wrong for us.

Emotions provide a range of knowledge and information, and the more we allow ourselves to sit with them, and allow them to be, the more we benefit from them. Each and every emotion has a purpose for us.

Often they arise when there is a lesson to be learned, and something valuable to experience. It is also true that our emotions are our responsibility, and that just because something outside of our person, creates a rise in one of our emotions, doesn’t mean that external source “made us feel” a certain way.

This is why it is important to notice our surroundings and what is creating an emotional spike in us.

How often does this happen? What might be the underlying message or lesson?

There are many things you can do to change your emotional state, and as much as we might be temped to see those changes happen externally. The most valuable change will be an internal shift.

Often a shift in perspective, which again, is why it is important to seek differing perspectives than the usual ones we see.

Journaling is a great way to become more connected with your emotions. One of my favourite methods is to ask myself these 4 things.

What I am I feeling and needing?
When was the first time I remember feeling this way?
What was the lesson here? and
Why am I grateful for that lesson?

If I still think that someone outside of me needs to change in order for me to be happy, then I know I haven’t gotten to the root cause of my emotions yet.

PS. The fact that it can be so challenging to change, actually isn’t your fault.

Did you know that 90% of the information that you are given, is controlled by the same 6 media companies; GE, News-Corp, Disney, Viacom, Time Warner and CBS. These media companies, ultimately have 1 aim, which is to get to you watch their reports, and read their articles because it results in them getting more money. Plain and simple.

They know that 2 things sell the most, that which creates fear, and that which will make you angry. This actually makes it more difficult to change, because being in a state of stress, causes us to fall back on that which is the most familiar to us.

This is why it’s especially important to build a connection with your body, know what makes you feel good, and what doesn’t, and to choose accordingly.

Reduce your stress, but go outside of your zone of comfort, because what makes you feel good in the moment, doesn’t always make you feel good in the long run, and vice versa.

And above all else give yourself positive opportunities and permission to grow. Surround yourself with the things you want to create more of in the world. Measure what is working, and what you are doing well. Because what we measure grows.

Much peace and Love to you my Friends.



Julia X Warner

Hey! This blog is about my journey to personal health and empowerment. It talks about my motivation, my struggles and what I’ve learned along the way.