How to Find the Right Kind of Love

Julia X Warner
5 min readNov 17, 2021

Are you a successful women who often feels overworked and exhausted, yet never really feels the happiness that comes with your success?

Do you feel as though your relationships are never as deep as you want them to be, and that you’re looking for a love that doesn’t seem to exist?

Do you find yourself feeling disconnected from others, and that even those closest in your life, don’t actually know the real you?


I use to look for love in all the wrong places. Thinking back, I don’t believe I even really knew what love was. I thought I could find it in food, alcohol or weed. I thought I could find it in meaningless sex and surface level relationships. I even thought I could experience it at my job, if I just worked hard enough.

Growing up in society, I was raised to believe that love and praise were the same thing. So I spent years, working myself to exhaustion, for some other company I didn’t like, trying to make something of myself.

I wanted to be the top of my class, I wanted to be a top employee, I wanted to be successful, however, I couldn’t shake this sinking feeling that something was missing. That I was kidding myself. That I didn’t actually have what it took to fulfill my real dreams.

I wanted to own my own business. I wanted to travel the world. I wanted to help women feel more empowered, loved and express their authentic selves in the world. I wanted a meaningful relationship where I felt secure, cherished and loved for who I was.

I wanted passion, connection and to feel alive, but time after time I would find myself alone, staring at the bottom of a Ben and Jerry’s container, wondering, what the hell was wrong with me?

I knew deep inside that I wanted more, and that I was worthy of more, but I couldn’t for the life of me, break free from the belief that I was somehow defective, and not capable of achieving my dreams. So I continued to work at jobs that I hated, dated people I didn’t really love, and searched for happiness in junk food and my favourite t.v shows.

There was this part of me that felt deeply empty inside, and no matter how I tried to fill it, nothing seemed to be the answer I was looking for. I just didn’t get it.

The truth of the matter, was that I was too afraid to let people see the real me. To have them see my pain and darkness, because I was afraid they wouldn’t like what they found.

So I stayed hidden. I hid behind my work, weed and alcohol, food, surface level relationships. I didn’t realize it at the time, but it was my way of protecting myself from the world.

I knew the real pain was that I actually wanted to be seen, heard and acknowledged, and wasn’t giving myself that opportunity. So rather than busying myself with work, and numbing myself with food, I took a leap of faith, and started to put myself out in the world.

It was really hard at first, but I knew there was a version of love out there waiting for me, that I wasn’t going to find doing the same thing I was doing. I quit my job, moved across the world, and despite wanting to run and hide from my intimate relationship like I normally would, I decided to face my fear and open up vulnerably instead.

I faced my addictions, and started recovery for food, codependency and weed. I found the support I really wanted, and things began to shift.

I wouldn’t say it happened over night. That I woke up one morning, completely expressed and able to connect with anyone. My own process of being vulnerable and honest has been taking place over the last two years. Every day. Sometimes it’s a step forward, and sometimes it’s a step back. The beauty of it, is in the process of unfolding, and becoming who I always knew myself to be.

I now feel more connected with my friends and family. More open hearted in my intimate relationship, and much more comfortable in my own skin. I gave myself permission to shine, to have my needs met, to love and be loved, in the way I always imagined. The funny thing, was that this whole time I had been looking for love externally, but I didn’t realize it was really me who needed to love me.

For so long I had been trying to change on my own, but I now know I could not have done it without the help of my coaches, teachers and mentors, who helped me connect with who I really am, in the ways that I couldn’t see. My hope and wish for you, is that you can find someone along your path, to help you do the same.

Leave a comment down below and let me know one aspect of yourself that you are learning to love, and I will send some love to you in this area too!

Much peace and love,

Julia



P.S. My biggest dream was to one day hold space for women to access that deeper feeling of love within themselves, so that they no longer seek to find it externally, and now that is what I am doing.

I feel so blessed to be living my dream, because I now get to help women in the same way that my coaches helped me.

Love, happiness and joy aren’t something that you experience at the end of a goal. They are something you experience along the way. They help bring you closer to the goal. So I dear say, are you ready to end your own suffering and experience the love you have always been waiting for?

I’ve got 5 spots available for the Transformed Goddess, a Coaching and Mastermind Program. These spots are reserved for 5 successful women, who, no matter how hard they try, can’t seem to find the love they really want to experience in life. Through shared intentions, and different coaching techniques, we will help you access the love that you have always had inside you, so that you can finally receive that feeling of love you’ve been looking for.

Fill out an application below, and I’ll be in touch to determine if this program is a good fit for you.

https://forms.gle/XA4g8LCgcaRoYffeA

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Julia X Warner
Julia X Warner

Written by Julia X Warner

Hey! This blog is about my journey to personal health and empowerment. It talks about my motivation, my struggles and what I’ve learned along the way.

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