How to Build Greater Security in Your Relationships and Finances

Are you a woman who wants to express yourself more?
Be more honest and authentic in your relationships?
Create firm boundaries and stop people pleasing?
Create lasting love and deep connections?
Experience greater financial freedom?
Pursue your passions and dreams?
And stop holding yourself back in life from experiencing the joy and pleasure you truly desire?

I had first started learning about attachment theory over 10 years ago when I entered university. I was immediately fascinated with the idea that the way a person shows up in their relationships with others, especially romantic partners, had to do with the things they learned about their primary relationship to their mother, in the first 3 years of their life.

This is crazy to think about now, that those first 3 years literally shaped every single relationship we have had since, often without us even being aware of it.

In my life I’ve had two long term relationships, and a number of shorter relationships. I’m not going to say the exact number, because my mother is probably reading this, but it’s a bit higher than I’d like.

For both of my longer term relationships, I had been very interested in this idea of attachment theory. Why certain people are drawn to each other, how to build a loving relationship and why relationships don’t work.

Securely attached people are supportive of their partners. They are able to hold space for emotional upset. They are able to tackle their dreams and goals, without getting overwhelmed by fear. They believe that the world is a safe place and that they are supported. They are able to build strong lasting relationships and believe in themselves. They can support themselves, while also asking for help if needed.

This all sounds great doesn’t it? Like some kind of a fairy tale? The perfect relationship you only read about in books.

At least that’s how I use to see it, because I was not a securely attached individual.

I had an insecure attachment, that depending on my partner, would oscillate between anxious attachment (where I’m fearful that my partner is going to abandon me) and avoidant attachment (where I‘m afraid the relationship is going to engulf me).

I wanted very badly to create a loving relationship, but couldn’t figure out why I found love so scary, and was either constantly trying to run from it, or afraid it was going to run from me.

This seriously affected my ability to put myself out in the world, and create the financial freedom I truly desired for myself. I had this underlying belief that the world was an unstable place, and couldn’t be trusted to meet my needs. This went for relationships, and finances.

I had learned a lot about conflict resolution, how to express myself lovingly, and how to add more intimacy into a relationship. I had learned how to build a successful coaching business, and focused a lot of attention on creating financial freedom. I thought this was enough to change my perspective and create the life I truly desired. But time after time, I would feel incredibly insecure, like I wasn’t enough, and like I didn’t have what it took to be happy in love or in my career.

This is when I really started to dive into what it meant to have a secure attachment, and was able to see how this was impacting my life in such a dramatic way.

Are you a woman who wants to express yourself more?
Be more honest and authentic in your relationships?
Create firm boundaries and stop people pleasing?
Create lasting love and deep connections?
Experience greater financial freedom?
Pursue your passions and dreams?
And stop holding yourself back in life from experiencing the joy and pleasure you truly desire?

Then I invite you to join my free Webinar starting Wednesday March 30th, 2–4pm EST.

I’ll be diving deeper into what it means to have a secure and insecure attachment, as well as give you some practical tools that will help you shift your perspective. You’ll gain a better understanding of why you behave the way you do, so that you can shift the blame (there isn’t any) and step into a new and empowered reality.

I’ll also be giving away a sample of my e-workbook that will be released at the beginning of May.

If you’d like to register for the Webinar, click the link in the comments to sign up below. I look forward to seeing you there.

https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/tZIpf-qspz4tHtCkk7VUFRGMTIXR7HrSjzJg

--

--

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Julia X Warner

Hey! This blog is about my journey to personal health and empowerment. It talks about my motivation, my struggles and what I’ve learned along the way.