How to Befriend the Ego, and Become who you are Meant to Be

Julia X Warner
9 min readJun 25, 2021

A couple of weeks ago I had participated in an Ayahuasca retreat at Rythmia Life Advancement Center in Tamarindo, Costa Rica. This is the third retreat I have participated in, working with this medicine, though I have to admit that this experience was by far, my most profound.

Over the last 10 years of my life I have been exploring the realm of spirituality, trauma, and unlocking the true human potential that we all have within us. Along this journey, I have confronted my fears, built deeper relationships, stepped into a more authentic and aligned version of myself, and explored realms that I had previously, no idea existed.

When I first felt the call to work with this medicine, it was after I had graduated from University with a BA in Psychology. It was after I had learned about various energy centres in the body, and had developed a strong meditation practice, focusing on my pineal gland. This practice allowed me to open up my imagination and start to tap into visions and energy that I just couldn’t fully explain.

Since I have started working with this medicine, there is a very strong message that continues to come through for me, that I will share with you in a moment. I will also disclose that sharing this part of me, and describing my experiences, feels vulnerable, but I trust that my actions and words are for my highest good, and the highest good of all.

First however, some context. The DMT molecule, sometimes referred to as “the God Molecule” is present in many living plants and animals. It is said to be released in the brain at death and birth, as well as when we dream. It can also be released during deep meditation or breathing exercises such as Holotropic Breathwork, or Conscious Connected breathing.

Before I had worked with Ayahuasca, I thought I had a pretty clear understanding of the world I lived in. While I still didn’t fully understand the purpose of life, it wasn’t something I really cared that much about.

I knew that I would find a job, work to pay bills, and build a life and a family. This was the life I had been programmed to believe was the dream life, make lots of money and build a great home. However, something about this paradigm didn’t sit well with me, and I couldn’t help but wonder if there was something more to life that I wasn’t quite grasping or understanding.

Before I had taken Ayahuasca there were many questions about the way humanity ran that didn’t fully resonate with me.

Why did the rich get richer, while the poor got poorer?

Why were processed foods so readily available, when they are a known contributing factor to many different diseases?

Why are people given man made drugs, that often only treat the symptoms of mental and physical suffering, when emotional release is a lasting cure for many of these problems?

Why are people so often taught to suppress their emotions and ignore their traumas rather than talking about them?

Why are addictions so common in our society, and given little attention to reform, despite the fact that billions of people are, or have been addicted to something in their life, be it drugs, alcohol, coffee, sugar, technology, work, sex, relationships or some other form of self harm?

Why are the plant medicines that cure many of these addictions made to be illegal, yet drugs that merely treat the symptoms are still being pushed in large quantities?

Why is it that children are becoming sicker and sicker at even younger ages, despite the billions of dollars that go into the drug industry every year to “fix” these new, up and coming diseases?

Why do we continue to pollute and destroy the planet on which we live, despite the recurring proof that free energy, and sustainable energy sources exist, world wide?

Why is the research of these free energy, sustainable energy, cures to cancer, and many other diseases, not only, not being funded, but being destroyed and erased from the mainstream media, despite their undeniable effectiveness?

I know I’m not alone in having these thoughts, and I know I’m not the only one who has had these questions run through their mind. I cannot express the frustration I had experienced the first time I found out about how much information and resources have actually been suppressed over the years. Even now, as we speak there is a bill being passed in Canada, that censors even further, the life changing knowledge and information Canadians will have access to.

This brings up a lot of anger for me, because in many ways I feel like I am living in a backwards world. I know it is possible for us to exist in harmony with the earth and with each other, but for the longest time I couldn’t help but see all the pain and destruction around me, as I had been programmed to look for, since I was just a little girl.

So what, you might be asking, does the disharmony on this planet, have to do with DMT or Ayahuasca?

The answer, as it turns out, is everything.

I grew up as a believer of science. I was taught to search for proof. To believe only that which I could see, and to trust only that which could be measured. I wanted clear, hard facts, before I made my decision. This, my brothers and sisters, as I have come to learn, is why I have experienced so much pain in my life, and why I would suggest that you have too.

Intuition, faith and trust, is not something that we can easily measure. Every day we breath the air, yet we do not feel it, we do not see or taste it, yet we trust that it exists, and keeps us alive. When we focus fully on the tangible, material world, we disconnect from the most important aspect of ourselves. Our spirit.

It has been described to me, that drinking Ayahuasca is like drinking liquid nature, and when you connect with the spirit of this medicine, you undeniably connect with the earth and mother nature. This is why she is often referred to as “Mother Ayahuasca”.

While each experience that a person has with this, and other plant medicines, is subjective, time and time again, people walk away with an undeniable understanding, that we are all connected, that God does exist, and that at our deepest core, we are nothing but love. The stories we create, the lives we live, are not really who we are, and when we heal our past wounds and traumas and let go of those beliefs, we experience a lightness, that stays with us, because once you have stepped into this new paradigm, it feels unnatural to go back.

The difference, I will briefly state, between a plant medicine and a drug is the individual intention that is behind it. If one is using something habitually, with the intention, to numb, forget, ignore, or simply experience, than this is considered a drug. If however, one is using a medicine with the true intention to heal, to release dependance, and to cure, using ritual, gratitude and to truly pay homage to the substance, then this is considered a medicine.

In my own life, I have used a number of different plant medicines, and the one message that continues to stay with me, is that “I don’t know, what I don’t know.”

Simply put, the more I hold onto being right, a one track mind, and believing that something has to be a certain way, the more pain and suffering I create for myself. This first came to me in ceremony when I had a huge emotional release around something that happened to me in my childhood.

In this experience, Mother Ayahuasca, in her gentle way, helped me to fully release the pain I had experienced from this situation, and find forgiveness for myself and all those involved. When I walked away from this ceremony, I felt as though 20 pounds had been lifted from me. 20 pounds I had no idea I had been carrying, every day, since that incident first occurred when I was only 7 years old. That was just one experience, and one example, of the shifts and miracles that I had experienced.

Since having that awakening 5 years ago, I have felt more comfortable and eager to look at, and release these past traumas and emotions I had experienced in my life. Every time I do, I feel lighter and lighter, and as though I am no longer carrying around this excess weight. This weight, I have come to realize, that is not mine to carry.

The reason I say is it not mine, is because many times these experiences are passed down from our ancestry, and from society. They are a product of social conditioning, and do not resonate with the pure unconditional loving soul that we came into this world as.

The way I see it, we are all on a journey of becoming who we are meant to be. What is required for this to occur, is for us to let go of the stories, the beliefs and the identity we hold onto, that tell us who we already are. As the old Chinese proverb describes, you cannot fill a cup that is already full. Thus, is it in the process of pealing away these layers, that we reveal our true essence, our true core of unconditional love and acceptance.

So just for a moment, I invite you to live from the place of awareness, that you don’t and simply cannot know, what you do not know. Quantum Physics has already proven, that all realities are not only possible, but undeniably, already exist. That you are a human of limitless potential, and that the only thing holding you back are the stories you were led to believe, about who you really are.

I ask you, my brothers and sisters, to lay down any attachment to the material, the tangible, to the sensible, and dream bigger than you ever have before. Dream of a world where you are living at your full potential, where we honour ourselves and the planet fully. A world without competition, or scarcity. A world without greed, or disconnect. Dream bigger than you ever have before, and trust that this reality already exists, simply because you have imagined it, and that all it takes now is to align those thoughts and images with, Right Action.

Doing what you’ve always done, will get you what you’ve always got, but friends, you are worthy of so much more.

Much peace and love to you my friends, on your journey of the here and now.


If this truth resonated for you, I would like to make you an offer. I am looking for 6 people who are ready to take their lives to the next level, by participating in a retreat at Rythmia, accompanied by a group coaching program and integration process, put on by myself and my partner Ricky.

This is for you if:

You have felt the call to change the world for the better.

You know that this change must be done internally.

You know, and want, to be the change you wish to see in the world, and are ready to take aligned action.

You want to experience a deeper connection to yourself and the world around you.

You enjoy exploring the unknown or unfamiliar and different parts of your ego.

You believe you have untapped potential that you would like to unlock.

You are hard working, and welcome a challenge.

You love adventure and excitement.

You like to be pampered and enjoy the finer things life has to offer.

You are willing to invest in yourself, and trust that your own inner work will be reflected in your outer world.

You want to open your heart and mind to a different paradigm and range of possibilities.

You want to find more love and forgiveness in your life.

You want to build more trust and deeper connections in your relationships to self, and others.

If this sounds like you, I invite you to take the leap into the next level, and send me a message. We’ll have a conversation about what a retreat at Rythmia will look like, and what you can expect from the integration process.

Now take a moment to slow down, tune in, and ask yourself, is this right for me?

I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Xx
Julia Warner

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Julia X Warner
Julia X Warner

Written by Julia X Warner

Hey! This blog is about my journey to personal health and empowerment. It talks about my motivation, my struggles and what I’ve learned along the way.

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