How a Comparison Mindset has Been Holding You Back from Reaching Your Full Potential, and How to Overcome it.
I’m all for equality, but even more than that I prefer to endorse personal empowerment and sovereignty, because it removes the need to compare ourselves to others.
Comparison often draws us away from the individual gifts and talents that have been given to us by God, and can actually be limiting in more ways than one.
I was just having a conversation with a woman, very strong in her own individuality, and she told me that she, in part, attributed this to her father telling her when she was younger, that “she could do anything that a man/her brothers could do.”
While at first glance this seems like an empowering statement, and while I acknowledge that it had a positive effect on her in her own life and career, helping her to feel empowered, there’s an important limiting aspect of this kind of thinking, that stood out to me.
Instead of telling her, she could do anything a man could do, why hadn’t her father just said “You can do anything!”
This element of comparison is still limiting, because it tells women, that being like a man is the golden standard. It limits the possibility, that women have qualities and skills that are actually more valuable and necessary, in certain situations. It also tells women not to think outside of the box, but instead to look to what others (men) are doing, as a goalpost of what they are capable of.
I have seen women trying to keep up in “a mans world” and to do this they often neglect and suppress their own natural tendencies of softness and nurturance, because they don’t think this will get them ahead.
This often causes a great imbalance and separation, as women then start to look down upon the aspects of themselves that not only make them who they are, but are so needed in this world right now.
There is room for both masculine and feminine energies, and they are both powerful and necessary for different reasons.
What makes me feel empowered as a woman isn’t, knowing that I can do anything a man can do, it’s knowing that I have my own unique gifts and talents that are not comparable to any other person on this planet.
What makes me feel empowered, is feeling so connected to my own inner voice and guidance system, that I am no longer trying to keep up with or compare myself to someone else, but that I am a sovereign being following my own bliss, and creating an aligned impact in the world.
Sure I can do anything a man can do, but I also have my own purpose, and my own talents, that are far more important than trying to keep up to what a different gender is doing.
When I focus my energy on trying to prove myself worthy and able to keep up, I often neglect the things that make me special, unique, and balance the energy that a man might bring.
This is also true for those who identify as neither, as they too have their own unique gifts and abilities, that are not comparable to any other human on this earth.
How many of us have that song drilled in our heads, “anything you can do I can do better, I can do anything better than you.” We’ve got a competition mindset ingrained in us, however I suggest turning our awareness inward, rather than looking for guidance externally, to tell us what we are capable of.
I dream of the day where the message isn’t to do something better than a man, a woman or anyone else, but to preform our own unique God given gifts, to the best of our own abilities.
“This strong connection to our own mission and purpose is true empowerment.”
This is the kind of sovereignty that will lead to greater, heart centred impact and transformation. It will allow us to expand at an exponential rate, because we’re no longer limiting our own abilities, by what others are doing. I say, we should let go of the need to compare, and instead learn to focus our attention on strengthening our own inner voice and gifts, above all else.
But hey, don’t take my word for it, find what works for you, and leave the rest behind.
Much Peace and Love
