7 Ways Group Flow Can Accelerate Progress and Healing
I was a person who grew up being labeled as shy. I didn’t enjoy going to parties when I was in university, I didn’t enjoy talking in front of large crowds of people, and I thought the best way to heal myself or my body was to either go to a doctor for physical pain, or a psychologist for mental distress and one on one sessions. It wasn’t until after I graduated, and faced these beliefs, that I realized that there is actually a much greater and permanent level of healing that can be achieved from doing work in groups.
My field in university was psychology, and I felt very drawn to helping people discover their own emotions, as they were something that seemed extremely foreign to me when I was growing up. As far as I was concerned, I didn’t really have them. My brother and I would even joke about the fact that I had no soul, not in the sense that I was cruel or malicious to others, but in the sense that I seemed unmoved by sad or scary things, and didn’t really get angry that often. In a lot of ways I was very happy and upbeat, but my general tactic was to avoid conflict at all costs, and boy, would it cost me. Most of the time I felt emotionally neutral, and just focused on doing the thing that was in front of me. My awareness was often focused on things outside of my body, and so I really had no idea what was going on inside.
Fast forward a few years and I found I had hit a wall. I felt lost, depressed, aimless, and had no idea what I was really doing with my life. I realized I had surrounded myself in an emotionless bubble of comfort and safety, and it wasn’t serving me. So I went out, into the world, stepped into my edge, and began to find a healing and freedom that I had no idea existed. As it would turn out, I owe a lot of that to the flow that I found in group healing sessions.
Prior to doing any group work, I had tried to tap into my emotions on my own or one on one. Being the shy person that I was, I found it very hard to talk about my inner state, even when it was just with one person. I found it hard to open up and be honest, with myself or with a practitioner, which resulted in me feeling like I hadn’t really gotten much out of the sessions, and questioning if it was really worth the money I had paid, or the time I had invested. I didn’t feel like they really understood what I was going through or what I was experiencing, and ultimately, I was just reinforcing the belief that I was alone in my experience, no one could help me, and that their wasn’t much point in opening up.
This was a problem because in a lot of ways no one really knew me. I felt alienated from my family, my friendships were mostly surface relationships, and while I had had some success opening up in my romantic partnerships, I could only go as deep as I knew how. Considering I still wasn’t even really aware of my emotions, this led to a slew of short term largely superficial connections that just left me feeling empty. I felt like I had just been repeating the same cycle over and over again, and I couldn’t figure out why.
But then the shift occurred.
It wasn’t until I decided to step outside of my comfort zone, really outside, that I began to understand what life was all about. Emotions! Humans want to grow, develop, change and become more aligned. We enjoy a challenge every now and again, because it lets us know we’re alive. We break through the obstacles and come out on the other side lighter, more confidant, and generally a lot happier. This is how I felt after my first group healing session, because for the first time that I had really been aware of, I was able to unlock a part of myself that I didn’t know existed.
Healing emotional pain isn’t always the most glamorous, and it often takes a severe amount of discomfort in our daily life for us to even want to address the real or deeper issue. Often times, we still don’t even think emotions have anything to do with it. Trust me. I get it. As I said, avoidance was my mantra for a long time in my life, until I experienced a shift that would change my life forever. From that moment on I was hooked,and not just for myself. It in turn, created such a strong desire in me to share this energy, knowledge and experience with others.
It takes courage, it takes strength and it often means getting humbled. For me, it was as if I had been living my life under this grey sky of disconnection, even though I thought it was sunshine. Then all of a sudden, reality shifted, and I could actually feel the suns rays on my skin. I don’t consider myself religious, but to me, this, was a miracle. Now that I’ve tasted the nectar, there’s no way I would ever go back.
So why are group healing sessions so much more powerful?
1. Shared Intention
You have probably already experienced this to some degree or another, either being a part of a team, taking a class, or even going in to work, if you’re around other people. What sets these experiences apart and makes them so powerful however, is the intention. The collective intention is what makes the experience so powerful, and allows the healing to be so rapid. You know the expression, many hands make light work. Well the same goes for group healing, because you become a part of a community that shares the intention of growing, and becoming the best version possible. More than that, they support you on your journey, and you actually learn to feel it.
2. You Don’t Feel so Alone
Group settings help you to change the narrative that you are alone in your pain, or that you are the only one having this experience. While empathy provided by traditional one on one healing is very effective, there isn’t typically much that the practitioner shares, so it can create this power dichotomy. With group healing you get to step out side of your “no one understands me” bubble, because you can witness first hand, that other people can in fact relate to what you are going through. You are able to see the number of people that are effected, further boosting your feelings of inclusion.
3. Helps you see how possible change really is.
Witnessing someone experience emotional healing is pretty powerful. It can also be a little intimidating, but it gives you the perspective of what the other side looks like, before you actually get there. You get to see how much healthier that person becomes. Their entire energy shifts, and they just become lighter. Maybe this is just me, but it’s hard to witness a profound transformation in someone else, and not think, man, I want that too.
4. By healing yourself, you are healing others.
Often times in group settings, especially when there’s a shared intention, something that you’re experiencing is mirrored for you by someone else. Sometimes just by hearing someone else share their story can be enough to shift and release that which has been weighing you down. The reverse is also true if you are the one sharing and healing yourself. It is a natural human tendency to want to be of service, and to help other people. So by healing yourself in a group, you are simultaneously fulfilling this need as well. The more people that are present, the more you are able to uplift and help.
5. Group setting can offer you deeper insights into your own story and experiences.
Maybe you’re not actually ready do open up in front of others or dive into your own experience. There had been times when I still feel like I’d rather do some healing by myself than in a room full of people. It really just depends on the situation. However, even though I might not be ready to release the emotions, group settings can help me gain more insight into what I am feeling, or why that pain is there. Sometimes it helps me see things from a different perspective, and that alone is enough to shift my pain, without even directly being worked on.
6. It helps you to reclaim your self image and change your story about who you are.
Group healing does take courage, but this alone is sometimes enough to create a profound change. By stepping up and taking the plunge you have already began to shift your energy to a lighter and healthier place, because you’ve sent the message to your brain, that you are ready for change. Sometimes all it takes it showing up, but other times it’s just telling yourself,“okay I am ready for change” or “ I am ready to let this go”. At this point you’ve already started to change your story from a victim to a survivor, which does incredible things for your overall self esteem. This is the process of reclaiming your own personal power, and telling the world that this is the new you.
7. It helps us overcome a fear of judgment.
The best way to overcome a fear is to face it. In our society we are often taught to hold back our emotions or to be ashamed of them. Which is why it is so powerful to be given the privilege to just be as you are, in all of your experiences. This helps us to receive the healing we really need, as we learn to accept ourselves on a deeper level, because of the acceptance and appreciation we receive from others. As long as the group has the set intention to hold a safe space, than all emotions are welcome. There isn’t any “stop crying” or “man up”. There is just love and support from people who welcome your transformation and accept you for who you are, as you are.
Not all group settings are the same, and sometimes what works for one person just isn’t a good fit for someone else. I’m also not saying that all group programs are created equally or will have the same healing effect. There are many different aspects that go into a person’s transformations, but again, speaking from personal experience, the community and combined energy that comes from group healing work, is significantly more powerful than simply working one on one.
